Friday, August 1, 2014

I am a worrier.

I am a worrier. I worry over so many things. My current one is my son. Parenting is hard - he is 13, and this is an emotional age, for boys and girls. He's always been sensitive, feeling, thoughtful - so magnify that with hormones, and it can be something.

I worry that the things I say, offhand or repetitively, will come to more significance than I intend. My concern about what he eats, what choices he makes in food. Will that cause him to look at himself more critically than he should? My concern over his grades - he should do his best, and I know what his best looks like, but is my concern spilling over to him and causing stress? Probably. But you need that, too. If his best is a "B" then that's fine. But if his best is an "A" but he doesn't get that because he, hypothetically, forgot to turn a bunch of homework in and didn't retake a test, than that is NOT okay. It's not doing his best.

And I guess the hard part is constantly second guessing yourself to figure out what is the best way to get good things into their heads without causing lifetime damage. You can hope that your intent is what they feel and grasp, but the yelling and frustrations of everyday life seems to send a bigger message sometimes, I fear.

I hope that the relationship we two have together sustains him while having to make hard decisions as he grows. Peer pressure can be hard. He seems to not be as concerned, thankfully, as I was when I was his age - that can only be a good thing. He sometimes reminds me that he's a boy, and he doesn't feel the things I feel and get concerned over what I do ("mom, I'm a BOY.").

I realize, after re-reading this, that being concerned with my overall "mom message" likely puts me ahead in the game - but man. This parenting thing is hard!

1 comment:

  1. You are not going to screw up your kids. I promise. But you're is SO hard.